A little kingdom I possess,
Where thoughts and feelings dwell;
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well.
~ Louisa May Alcott

...that more or less describes my situation!

 
Lovely Sonnet ......


BEING your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do, till you require.
Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour
Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,
Nor think the bitterness of absence sour
When you have bid your servant once adieu;
Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,
But, like a sad slave, stay and think of nought
Save, where you are how happy you make those!
So true a fool is love, that in your Will,
Though you do any thing, he thinks no ill.

William Shakespeare.


posted by Sylvia D'souza at 8:54 pm 0 comments

 
14th Feb...

Have heard so much about the controversies surrounding the celebration of this day; let me give my own understanding of the matter.

I for one have nothing against people celebrating their love for each other on this day. The argument I have come across most often is that those who are in love or have affection for each other, do not need a day to express it. They can express it anyday and everyday. True. I would wholeheartedly agree. Neither would anyone stop any others from expressing themselves on other days of the year. But in the same breath, I should also like to know, why do we celebrate any occasion at all, on one particular day? Why don't we celebrate Christmas everyday, surely we should be able to express our love for God everyday of the year, and rejoice, everyday of the year? Why do we celebrate Independence Day on the 15th August, surely we're happy to be free everyday of the year? Why can't we celebrate it everyday then? Why don't we celebrate our birthday every day of the year - surely everyday that we are alive gives us a fresh occasion to celebrate?

The reason, it seems to me, is not that we are immune to these feelings on other days of the year, not that we forget about Christ or about Independence or the miracle of our own birth, on other days of the year; but that we choose one day to come together in a spirit of celebration and make merry over it.

What day we choose to do so or whether we choose a particular day at all, is beside the point. It is just that, humans as we are, we cannot have enough reasons to be happy, to be merry -- and since we cannot be so everyday of our lives --we choose particular days, particular occasions. Sometimes I wonder how our lives would have been if there were no Christmases, no Diwalis, no New Years, no Ids...I cannot even envision such or maybe it is an impossible scenario, for if we had none of these festivals, we would have invented others. Just as we invented Valentine's day. I do know there is a history behind this day, but one that is so far removed from its present day connotations that it is almost indistinguishable.

Another objection to these celebrations that I've heard oft-repeated is the "crass commercialisation" that centers around them. The cards and chocolates and flowers that get sold by the truckloads. Well! No one ever heard of not celebrating Christmas because people were making money by selling Christmas trees; no one ever made any noise over sweetshops making double the profits during Diwali! Does the commercialisation of an event tell against the event or against the growing materialistic tendencies of society in general? Will stopping the celebration of this event in any way effect a change in the values of businesses? If it did, then maybe we should.

People may have their own reasons for celebrating this day (and what better reason than that it makes them happy!) and people may have their own reasons for choosing not to (and am sure very valid too)...I certainly do not believe that people should celebrate something they do not believe in celebrating, but I also wouldn't understand, if they should impose their belief on those who do wish to...

Anyway, to put an end to my arguments and get down to the point:- Here's wishing everyone a very Happy Valentine's Day!!


posted by Sylvia D'souza at 9:38 am 0 comments

 
A sweet friend of mine said to me --

"Are friends for real, I wonder aloud
Or just those beings, that pass like a cloud!"

It took a moment before i realised -- those were my own words; part of a collection of a few poems that I had shared with him a while ago.

hmm...How experiences change perceptions! What only seems a hollow emotion, upon experience, surprises us with depth and what seems an impossibility, upon experience, gains the stamp of truth.

I never had what everyone seemed to have and what I would have given anything to have: A Best Friend. It was very rarely that I came upon people of my own wavelength, maybe because it was not in my nature to actively seek out people or maybe it was just plain luck. But those times that I did come upon such, the small ever-persistent negative voice inside me would whisper that maybe he or she already is someone's best friend. The idea that someone's best friend could also be my best friend either didn't penetrate me or perhaps I looked at it from my own rigid point of view. There could only be one best and not two.

As time passed, I resigned myself to the thought that such a deep friendship was not written for me. Arrogantly, I would also tell myself that this is someone's loss, not mine. For all that, it never diminished the hurt I felt when I thought I had so much to give, so much to share...but no one to whom my soul could so respond to. I did not lack friends, I wanted a Best Friend.

I had once written about my inability to believe in God. I don't, true, for all the logical reasons. But when I ask my heart and it shows me the picture of someone, who at the most unexpected of times and unlikeliest of ways came into my life and went on to become my best friend, am more than inclined to.

I cannot think of it as anything short of a miracle that one of my dearest of wishes should come true, a wish not only of a best friend, but of one who would be everything to me that I wanted my best friend to be.

Those days when I used to yearn for a best friend, seem so far away now and those words I used to comfort myself with, that "you're your own best friend", so untrue! I've now experienced the friendship I had only once dreamed about, and am so happy to say, friends are indeed real.....there's just no doubt!


posted by Sylvia D'souza at 1:47 am 0 comments