I have been thinking about how much our lives revolve around consumption. Not just consuming things, but also stuff like content. And probably production—because someone has to produce for someone to consume? Take out consumption and activities related to that, and what remains? Probably it's a matter of nuance. Reading a book is also consuming content in a way but it's not the same as consuming say Instagram? Writing is production but it's not the same as producing a tiny part of a car? And then one might ask, what is wrong with consumption and production?

I started thinking along these lines because my life currently is less consumption oriented, particularly stuff like clothes, accessories etc., that I tended to consume for the sake of consuming than because I needed these things for a specific purpose. It makes me think about why we consume these days and what we did in earlier times when we did not consume as much? Was life more fulfilling then and what did we do to make it more fulfilling? Makes me wonder if consumption activities have replaced community oriented activities? For instance, going to church. Instead, people go to malls. But nowadays even malls have been replaced by online shopping. You get all your consumption needs served without even leaving the house. Can consumption-on-demand ever lead to satisfaction? And where is all this headed? Maybe finding the things that satisfy us intrinsically is key... even though it's hard when you live in an all-consuming world and your life is built around its principles I suppose.

All's well! I should have got down to writing earlier but my usual excuse, 'one thing and another' :)

It's not that I haven't written anything at all but it felt like I should be writing something very specific about my new set of temporary circumstances on this blog and whenever there is some specific expectation to do something, it feels like a chore. Not that there is any reason to conform... probably it will come when the mood strikes me - or not. Why do something out of boredom or obligation or conformity or whatever? If only I were a person who just did things very randomly, slave to nothing but my moods, hehe... that's not me but at least once in a while there's no harm letting go of structures and disciplined modes of thinking...

The change from the UK to over here isn't that big a change in the fundamental sense that my routines are fairly constant. I suppose knowing it's a matter of weeks makes a difference too because the routines that are a bit more difficult to adapt to, only need to be adapted to for a little while. I am also fairly busy so rolling from one week to the next without having a lot of time to think about it. And last but not the least, people have made me feel very much at home here. It's always people that make a difference to place I guess, and in that respect, I always realise how lucky I have been only after the fact. In this case, I am trying to be more conscious of it in the moment.

If someone had told me 7-8 years ago that I'd be representing a UK university in China, teaching university students, I would have gawked at them. None of those words, university, teaching, UK, China would have made sense to me together or even separately. As someone said, day by day nothing seems to change, but when you look back everything's different. Just makes me wonder at how far I have come!

"In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back." ~ Albert Camus 

These last few days a theme or rather an insight has struck me. It is that in the past one or two years every time something has happened, I have asked God why this lemon—why a lemon when I was asking for grapes? And as I look back it dawns on me that actually if my mind hadn't been so set on grapes and on the disappointment of not getting what I wanted, I would have actually realised that I had got something way better. Something that was so custom-designed for me that I questioned if it was good enough... but the more I stopped focusing on my disappointment and started looking at what I had got for what it was, I couldn't believe I had been so blind. I couldn't have planned for this because it was so out of the ordinary but we are so used to the ordinary, so used to fitting into well-laid out structures, so trained to want what we want... that we never dare to want something or appreciate something different. When it comes to us, we want to trade it for the ordinary. How dumb of us, isn't it? And people around you, mind you, will make you want to do the trade-off. They will make you want to believe that until you buy into the standard or ordinary, you don't have it good. It takes considerable reflection and examination to stand your ground. To evaluate lemons and grapes on their own terms and in terms of what fulfils you rather than the value placed on them by the world. And by mediocre folks who probably cannot rise above the ordinary anyway. 

I am leaving for China in day or so. It's likely I won't be able to post blogs while I am there... If I can, I should have exciting stuff to talk about... hehe... China has always been at the top of the list of countries I find intriguing and exciting and my two visits there aeons ago did not disappoint... If I can't, you have something to look forward to ;)