Recently I was in a group/people-y situation and wondered what possessed me to put myself through it. I tend to be very selective about where I am present, not to be exclusive for the sake of it, but because certain social situations take too much of my limited energies and could extract too high an emotional cost. I opt in only if: 1. I genuinely expect to enjoy myself (these are the rare situations I might even seek rather than just accept), 2. I genuinely expect to learn something (which means people are incidental to the thing), 3. It has some strategic benefit for me in the short/long term — trade-off may be worth it, 4. There are a few people present whom I enjoy myself with and the trade-off may be worth it, and 5. I am forced into it and have no choice whatsoever (rare but happens, like a family function ;)). These, I think, cover more or less why I would be in an otherwise not-for-me situation. I guess the reason why I might later question what possessed me to be in it is where I am hoping for the 'trade-off to be worth it' and I am not sure it is; in other words, where there is a positive anticipation of some kind and it does not go that way. I am not prepared for the cost unlike when I am forced into something and know that it's not going to be fun. I have to say though that there have been occasions where I have not expected it to be enjoyable and it has been. Those are situations that encourage me to put my hat in the ring even when I am a bit sceptical... 

This reminds me of an event that took place at our house when I was in Dubai. I just did not feel like I could participate and a part of me felt really bad that people dear to me would assume that I am not even extending myself a tiny bit for them. It was one of those times where not going extracted probably more out of me than going would have... However, it was also one of those rare times where I felt truly accepted by someone, my brother. Where I felt I could just be how I was and it was okay. I would still be loved, even if not fully understood :) That actually made me wish I had gone for the event... the trade-off would have been worth it, I am sure.