To Be or Not To Be

A little kingdom I possess,
Where thoughts and feelings dwell;
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well.
-- Louisa May Alcott.
...........hmmm....that more or less describes my situation !!

~A Wise Man Said~

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
-- Aristotle

Saturday, February 14, 2004
If you ask me about my most horrible nightmare till date, it would be the one where I dreamt that my front teeth were falling off. Loosening bit by bit, then falling apart, and off.

I was so deeply involved in the dream at the time that I remember being close to tears, and then suddenly, as it usually happens, I realise its only a dream and am as happy as I would have been if someone had sewn the teeth back in their place and set them straight!

Maybe you're wondering why all this talk about "teeth" or for that matter, "nightmares"...well! I had another one yesterday and this time it was for real. :(

I walk into my office oblivious of this dental check-up that was arranged at our place. It seemed like a funny coincidence since I had been feeling a slight tingling sensation in my teeth for a few days now, but as ready to be patient in this particular matter as anybody else, I had been telling myself, "It will go away if you let it be."

I nervously go into the check-up room; the lady asks me to open my mouth now, now to close it, now prods my teeth, now glares in with something like a torch, now marks something in her sheet.

Her face grows graver and graver and mine correspondingly turns paler and paler (What do you expect?)

I pray for the best but then God has these ways of frustrating your prayers sometimes (Mine, most times). I know it will be the worst.

The lady calmly tells me I need to get my wisdom teeth removed or I might have to get more of them removed later. It wasn't exactly a choice, when you think of it. "Do you want to jump into a well now or would you rather be washed away by the sea later?

Knowing a few people who have had such atrocities done to their teeth, I wondered if it might help talking to them a little. Maybe I'd feel a little better when they told me there wasn't much to it.

I go to friend X and she says, "You don't even feel a thing when they pluck your teeth out. It doesn't hurt at all". You would have thought there was a gentler word for "pluck" in the dictionary.

I go to friend Y and she says, "They inject you with an anesthetic on your jaws first and then your whole mouth goes numb. You don't feel a thing really". That was supposed to comfort me??

Well...maybe it won't be so bad after all... :(

Forgetting that, want to wish everyone a very happy Valentine's Day and in tune with the occasion, a lovely poem...

"Love seeketh not itself to please,
Nor itself hath any care,
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a heaven in hell's despair."

So sung a little clod of clay,
Trodden with the cattle's feet;
But a pebble of the brook
Warbled out these meters meet:

"Love seeketh only Self to please,
To bind another to its delight,
Joys in another's loss of ease,
And builds a hell in heaven's despite."

-- William Blake