To Be or Not To Be
A little kingdom I possess,
Where thoughts and feelings dwell;
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well.
-- Louisa May Alcott.
...........hmmm....that more or less describes my situation !!
~A Wise Man Said~
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
~When in Lancaster~
Life as PhD Student
Encyclopedia of Philosophy
Monday, December 19, 2005
By the amount of material that appears on this blog, one would think there's not much going on in my mind -- that is, if one considers a blog a reflection of one's mind, if not one's life in general. The fact is, a lot goes on in my head at any given point, thousands of ideas are jostling together for space, but the moment I try to pin them down on the keyboard ...poof! they're gone.
I simply do not have the gift of the fingers. I can't ramble away as if I'm strolling in a garden, without a purpose, stopping to watch anything that might catch my fancy; I must write like I'm going to the post office, and of course, I know the way.
Anyway, I have decided to try rambling once in a while, and while I'm at it and till am done with it (or think I have), I mean not to ask myself "what is your point?" Afterwards, if I feel there is no point at all, I will tell myself "that is why it is called Rambling".
All those who know me, know how sensitive I am (my best friend's oft-repeated words "I am the most insensitive person on earth and you're the most sensitive"; in case you're wondering how we happen to be best friends, let me say I'm no less mystified than you). Poke me with a knife and I might recover in a minute, but poke me with a callous, heartless, stinging barb of a word, and you've done me in -- well, at least for a day.
I have been maintaining this diary page very recently where I note down any attitude of mine that I feel needs changing. The motive being that if I do the same thing again, and find it already mentioned in the page, it serves as a rebuff plus reaffirms my desire to change. Granted that everyone has things they don't like in themselves, but coming to the selfish part in this whole proceeding, these are things that ultimately bring more hurt to myself than anyone else and if I can do something about it, I should. One of my entry says "Do not get emotionally involved in an argument with people who a) are not close to you and b) are not reasonable, no matter how much you feel about the subject. Assume an air of "casual indifference". If I could only follow my own advice, I should be a happier person.
Am guessing I still sound like I was going to the post office than smelling the roses. :( Rambling is just not my scene or maybe I will need to keep doing it to get better. In any case, if you find my future posts a trifle different from my previous, you know what I'm doing -- trying hard to ramble!