A little kingdom I possess,
Where thoughts and feelings dwell;
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well.
~ Louisa May Alcott

...that more or less describes my situation!

 
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
-- Burton Hillis

Wish you all a very merry Christmas, and a wonderful year ahead!
posted by Sylvia D'souza at 3:37 pm 0 comments

 
There is an interesting kahawat in Hindi “Bandar ke haath mein ustara” (for the in-hinitiated, it means “A razor in the hands of a monkey”). Had read it in school — can’t remember what chapter it was — but I have actually begun to understand its application only now.

That reminds me, recently, on this show on TV, “Laughter Challenge” or something, this stand-up comedian spoke about how in school you’re taught Tan and Cos and what not, but when you grow up, and say, go to the market to buy vegetables, none of this Tan and Cos comes to the rescue. Why then are we made to waste our precious childhood years learning what we will never use? Beats me too!

Coming back to the Hindi kahawat, I feel that any tool is only as good as the hands it comes into. Make it available to the wrong hands, and result will most certainly be chaos, not to mention the tool itself losing its credibility, which I feel is the sadder part…

In other news…I’ve started learning driving! It’s a week now, and I’m in one-piece, which is a pretty good sign. I’m enjoying the feeling of being in control of a vehicle (the little control I have, I mean), and cruising down the road (at 7.00 in the morning, there are very few obstacles around), but I wonder if it weren’t for the instructor sitting next to me, I would be cruising as happily. Three more weeks to go yet; let’s wait and watch! :)
posted by Sylvia D'souza at 3:43 pm 0 comments

 
We celebrated ‘Traditional Day’ at work today on account of Diwali. I myself would rate the saree as one of most graceful and elegant traditional Indian dresses around. I love it!

Ever since childhood, I have been fascinated by the saree, and almost intuitively seemed to know how to wear it, the first time I wore it. Or probably, not really intuitively. As a kid, one of my favourite hobbies was to imitate my mom when she would drape a saree. That must have made for some good practice!

Ahem, hearing me talk, one may imagine I wear a saree everyday or something! Once a year is more like it, and that too, only on special occasions. High as I find the saree on the ‘loveliness’ factor, the ‘comfort’ factor is a bit of a deterrent. I can’t trust myself to do a day’s work in a saree –- strut around and gather compliments, is about it! :)

Anyway, enough about the saree (lest I sound like a ‘my favourite Indian dress’ essay). Would like to wish everyone a verrrrrrrrry Happy Diwali! May the new season be full of bright new hopes and much good cheer!
posted by Sylvia D'souza at 11:20 pm 0 comments

 
Was doing one of my favourite things the other day. Browsing through quotes. There is an option to view by Author, and as usual, I clicked on my favourite, Shakespeare. His words give you the pleasure that reading poetry gives, a stirring of emotions, at the same time, hit you hard with a truth, stirring the mind.

one such gem--

Good name in man and woman, dear my lord,
Is the immediate jewel of their souls:
Who steals my purse steals trash; ’t is something, nothing;
’T was mine, ’t is his, and has been slave to thousands;
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him
And makes me poor indeed.
posted by Sylvia D'souza at 12:17 am 0 comments

 
Long time, again! I hereby promise never to start my blog with an excuse, it’s turning out to be a habit, and a bad one at that. :(

I got a bit jolted when I found a mail in my hotmail inbox today – a kind person wanted to know if I would consider selling my blog for a stated sum (which I will not disclose here), as it was in “disuse” anyway. I cannot deny that I was pleased somebody wanted to “buy” my blog (put aside pay me $X), but at the same time it hit me hard that my blog was being considered “dead” (inactive, disused, what’s in an adjective?). I won’t say what it took me to reject the offer (actually, nothing), but it brought me back to planet blog.

I am reading n number of books these days. This is something new for me. Till as late as two years back, I woudn’t have imagined reading two books at a time, while today, am juggling with approximately five. Thought a little about it and came up with two things – one is that all five of these books are non-fiction, whereas the staple reading for most of my life has been fiction. Fiction involves you emotionally as well as mentally whereas non-fiction only mentally – so multi-reading, where involvement is not emotional, may be easier. Second thing is, like everything else, my reading habits may have naturally changed slightly. Partly owing to the lack of time these days to finish a book as soon as I’ve picked it up.

An incident happened a few days back that made me want to take a pen and blog (I know, I am still a pen-paper person). I will not state the context (what with the blog being public and all), but let me put it this way:

A person, who for a period of three months or so, happily accepted or rather encouraged my guidance and advice for improvement (purely in a professional sense), made a total about-face on this day, and made me curse myself for having been so trusting and forthright in my dealings. This person felt that rather than guide and advice, I had diminished her confidence by making her failings known to her. However, her grouse apparently was not so much her getting to know her weaknesses, but the “way” they had been communicated to her.

Now to add some background about this person: This person is considered to be “uncultured” and “uncouth” amongst most of those who know her. Politeness and she have merely had a brushing acquaintance with each other, if at all. Subtlety bounces off her as a cotton ball might bounce off a hippopotamus (incidentally, the thick skin and fat are also other common traits shared with that creature).

Two things made a most profound impression on me. I would agree that considering the make-up of this person, I would be a double idiot to let her influence me negatively, but these are things not so much about her, but more about “me”, in that, how I need to deal with these in future.

Number 1, I need to be a little less forthright and straightforward when I do not “trust” the opposite party enough (in this case, I didn’t). What is said with the best of intentions and earnestness, and interests of that person or situation at heart, may be misconstrued, or worse still, misused (as in this case). I was led to believe all along that my efforts were appreciated, and one fateful day, there is a turn-about, catching me unawares and unequipped to defend myself. Number 2, Some people are like the cat (or is it an ostrich?) that closes its eyes and thinks that the world does not see it. Telling the cat that you can actually see it, or rather, destroying its pretty illusion, may lead to not-so-nice consequences for you. The cat will think that if the rest of the world does not claim to see it, you must be a villain or a liar to make such a claim. Far from thanking you for waking it up to reality, the cat will scratch you with its claws, and go back to sleep (as usual). The lesson is, do not mess with the cat, let it sleep, cat will be happy, world will be happy. Metaphors apart, some people would rather be blissful in ignorance of their faults, than be woken up to them so that they can do something to change. Such people, as I discovered, are best left to their bliss.

Hummph…now that I have got that out of my system…

Tomorrow is Mother Mary’s feast. We traditionally celebrate it like Onam, atleast food-wise. Banana leaf, and on that, nine types of delicacies. This time I rather doubt we’ll be going the elaborate way, but let’s see. Will probably take a picture of the spread (if we do go the elaborate way), and paste it on the picture blog! (come to think of it, my picture blog’s turning out to be a “Nature and Food” blog! :) )
posted by Sylvia D'souza at 11:11 pm 0 comments

 
I’m starting to feel really guilty about the way I have been neglecting my blog :( Bangalore happened and I am back, and still no updates from my side. Hmm…probably if I try to put random updates without trying to ‘polish’ or make my posts more ‘politically correct’ (as a friend always teases me), I should end up writing a lot more, and maybe enjoy writing a lot more! Hmm!

Bangalore was lovely. Only to be expected too. I have been to Bangalore some three-four times before and only loved it more on every occasion. There is something about the city that vibes very well with me. Or probably it’s just my ‘perception’. Not too sure!

Had started writing a blog sometime during the month, but it seemed to be progressing into a food in Bangalore vs. food in Mumbai blog. Fact that I was writing during the lunch break, and my office in Bangalore didn’t have a canteen, let alone wonderful food like my Mumbai canteen, may have something to do with it (I have to add here, as a matter of record, that I have, from the date of arrival in Mumbai, given up on bread and all its associate products that taste like bread; it is all one can do after being tortured with various tasteless forms of sandwich every breakfast and lunch).

One important highlight of my visit was meeting up with two bloggers I had always looked forward to meeting, almost since I had started my blog: Sathish and Ranjani (and of course their little son Suraj). It was wonderful to find that I related as well with them in person as I did with their blog personalities. They very kindly treated me to a scrumptious full course Tamilian meal (I must say a new item got added to my favourite food list that evening: Coconut Rice!). Am happy to have found two such lovely people through the blog!

I also had the pleasure to meet another blogger I had recently come to know: Anant Kamath. We had a great time chatting up, and spilling oops! I mean drinking, tea at the Cha Bar. :)

Bumped against an ex-colleague cum friend and a popular blogger at Coffee World (hope I get the place right!). It is, as she commented, a most pleasant co-incidence to meet up with someone you haven’t met for ages at the most unlikeliest of places and make that connection again. This was also the place where I had my first taste of a “waffle” (where have I been?!), recommended by my very good friend.

Coming to other highlights of my visit, I broke a record of sorts by watching an “entire” football match (Germany vs. Argentina) at the 13th Floor. Umm…I guess the record would have been broken even if I had watched half a match. :) Was an altogether new experience and good fun too!

Watched two movies at PVR: Da Vinci Code and Samsara (a Tibetan movie). Since Da Vinci Code has been beaten to death enough already, I will move on to Samsara. It is a movie in the Tibetan language, with Chinese lead actors, and English subtitles. I liked the movie, but wouldn’t call it a great movie (as I was told it is proclaimed to be). It is a story of the spiritual journey of a young monk in the face of earthly temptations. As the story goes, the monk gives in to temptations, but at the end of the day is faced with the looming question posed by his teacher: Is it more important to satisfy a thousand desires or to conquer just one? The film ends on an ambiguous note. As I said, I liked the movie for its scenic setting and for exposing me to a culture I had absolutely no clue about, but beyond that I was absolutely unimpressed. The story did not have anything sublime in it (or so I thought) to warrant a spiritual awakening, nor did it unfold in a manner that could have possibly given rise to it (again, my view). The monk himself did not convey a maturity that one would expect out of his character, either before or even after. In short, it came across as a typical Hindi movie to me (is it a coincidence the director is Indian?), with the small difference that where a Hindi movie disperses all its ‘gyaan’ in the end, this movie leaves it hanging in the air (so instead of feeling a bit sick, one is left a bit confused).

Bangalore’s street side book shops and its many good sized Book Stores have always been a treat for me. I picked up quite a few books this time – Memoirs of a Geisha, Emotional Intelligence, one of the Williams books,…. Managed to read the Memoirs of a Geisha in my long bus rides and at bed times. Definitely an interesting book, worth a read (if one is not averse to bumping against a metaphor like a boulder on the road at every step :p). Some insights into the Japanese culture, especially as regards women, were shocking to say the least.

I’m currently reading Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman; probably my next post will have some excerpts or insights from it!

Apart from all this, I naturally indulged in one of my most favourite activities – Shopping! Enjoyed shopping in Commercial Street more than the high-fundoo (as we say in Bombaiiyaa :) ) malls. I was atleast five outfits richer when I came back than when I went. Bought some lovely sarees for myself and ladies in the family from Vijayalaxmi, M. G. Road. I have no clue when I’ll get around to wearing it, but…ahem.

So….that was more or less a small peep into my Bangalore visit. Being fortunate enough to have some great friends there, didn’t really know how the time went…Now it’s back to Mumbai …till, of course, I come again! :)
posted by Sylvia D'souza at 2:04 pm 0 comments

 
Leaving for Bangalore on June 3…Will be working there for almost a month ….looking forward to it!

Bengaloooru, Nanoo Barutene! :)
posted by Sylvia D'souza at 9:12 pm 0 comments

 
If forty million people say a foolish thing it does not become a wise one, but the wise man is foolish to give them the lie.
-- W. Somerset Maugham

Today, again, I realized the truth of this quote. People seem to have this weird tendency to accept something as true merely because “everybody” believes so. Beats me totally.

Say, in a room full of ten people, nine agree and one feels differently -- does that in any way prove that those nine are right? But funnily, as I said, that appears to be the general opinion. And I cringe at the danger of this logic.

Where a number of people hold a false idea, there it is even more essential that the truth come to light, and there it is that one finds it most difficult because of this skewed logic. One who thinks independently and rationally, and dares to defy the majority, is ridiculed, dismissed, and made to shut up – let alone given a fair hearing. Wouldn’t you call him a fool?
posted by Sylvia D'souza at 11:15 pm 0 comments

 
These days those lines learnt in school seem to have acquired special meaning –

What is life if full of care
We have no time to stand and stare

:(

It’s not just me, but everywhere I see, everyone I see... In Mumbai, one just needs to visit the local railway station to see how rushed and pushed we are to get wherever we’re going. Thankfully, I am back to my old, favourite mode of transport – auto-rickshaw! I love the auto-rickshaw. I do feel a little guilty about how it weighs on my purse, but if life can be made a little happier, with this little indulgence, a half hour in a day just to sit and stare without a care…hmm, I feel it’s worth it.
posted by Sylvia D'souza at 11:06 pm 0 comments

 
A long blog-break after a long time! (not surprisingly, there are thousand more things vying for my attention here as compared to when I was in HK, and I just don’t seem to find time for a few of the things I would love to do :( )

Vacation in Mangalore was good…too late to write about it, I guess!

Today was Women’s day. I had no idea of this from the time I woke up till I reached office. A woman colleague wished me “Happy Women’s Day”, and though startled out of my wits, I hurriedly mumbled a corresponding reply. In the evening, a cake cutting session was arranged by two women colleagues and all of us (I mean, men included) participated (or perhaps I should say partook?!).

All throughout the day, I was trying to analyze how I felt about this day. I did not know the history of this day or its background, but assuming there was no context, the idea of a Woman’s day didn’t jell well with me. Especially coupled with the fact that there was no such thing as a Men’s day.

I do realize that women have come a long way. I also realize that the status, freedom, independence that we enjoy now was once only but a dream. I also realize that in view of all this, and in view of celebrating whatever we have achieved till now, such a day might have come into being (this is purely a view/opinion; I did not bother to google and check any facts/history – so there’s a chance I’m wrong). But what I cannot realize is, does this day really send out the message that we had worked so hard at sending? a message that we’re all “equal”? It confers us a “special” status (just like the ‘special’ ladies seats in our buses), when what we would want to be seen as is “non-special” or “not different”, or “equal”. How do we expect to be seen as an “equal” when we ourselves believe ourselves to be “special” (or “different” or “not equal”)?

Hmm…probably it’s only a matter of perception…what’s in a day, anyway! So, here’s wishing all my women blogger-friends around a very Happy Women’s Day! :)

This has already become a longish blog; shall write more about other things soon (hopefully)!

[In the course of my thought process, it struck me that in HK there are seats reserved for the handicapped, elderly and pregnant ladies, but not generally for ladies. This, in fact, reflects the general culture of HK where no ‘special’ distinction is conferred to a lady because she is a lady (there are equal number of lady bus-drivers, lady security guards, lady CEOs, and so on). I found this quite commendable!]
posted by Sylvia D'souza at 11:59 pm 0 comments

 
Happy Birthday to me! :)

A lot older (I feel :( ) and a little bit wiser. Don't think any other year has brought so many variety of experiences to my life, and also so many variety of emotions. An unforgettabe year, definitely!

Going to Mangalore for a two week vacation this weekend. Have written about Mangalore many times before, but this time I hope to come back with pictures...

till then!
posted by Sylvia D'souza at 11:26 am 0 comments

 

Back in Mumbai! Feels good to be home…

The place is still the same, though my eyes see them a wee bit differently. I am making these little negative comparisons that everyone who appears from abroad after a while tends to make, and having expected this, am not that boggled. Hope to settle into my old environment soon while putting to good use the fresh outlook I have gained by being away from it.

One of the most cherished things I carry with me from HK is the friendship of six new friends. If not for them, my stay wouldn’t have been so easy and my good-bye not so difficult. We promised to keep in touch and when some of us thought we could even plan to meet in India, the most skeptical of them said that it may not be “practical” since all of us come from different cities. I myself felt we definitely could if we wanted to --“where there’s a will, there’s a way”…so, here’s to Hum Saat! Hope we all meet soon – in Chennai, Bangalore, Hyderabad, Ahmedabad, or in Mumbai!

FullTP (the person who inspired me to start a blog) has tagged me with a very interesting meme – “What are your top five quirks?”

I must admit that I have never consciously thought of my quirks before, so let me see what I can come up with –

I always like sticking to tried and tested or familiar or old things. For example, if I like a ring-tone, I will stick to it. If I like a template, I will stick to it. If I like a tooth-paste, I will stick to it.

I like corners and if I have a choice, I never choose a position in the middle. Say, if I go for a movie, I’ll always go for the corner-most seat. If I am in a rickshaw or taxi with two others, I will never be the person sitting in the middle; in fact, even if I am alone, I sit towards the corner!

I always wait for the other party to cut off a phone conversation (or any instant communication), unless I am very seriously pressed for time.

I always use a series of dots (.....) in personal communication instead of a full stop or period. The full stop seems to me rather abrupt and harsh, and I have to force myself to use it in semi-personal or formal communication.

I am very fond of juices. Give me a constant supply of juice and I will altogether forget about food. Juices could be any sweet edible liquid from Lassi to Fanta. Being a little conscious of my diet, I have disciplined myself to restrict unhealthy carbonated drinks to weekends, though :(

I wouldn’t call these quirks my “top five” …just ones that readily came to mind…am pretty sure there are others and possibly far quirkier!

posted by Sylvia D'souza at 1:40 pm 0 comments