To Be or Not To Be

A little kingdom I possess,
Where thoughts and feelings dwell;
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well.
~ Louisa May Alcott

...that more or less describes my situation!

~A Wise Man Said~

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
~ Aristotle
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
 
We think about our mortality often, at least I do, perhaps even more so as we grow older. Somebody asked recently what made me become more emotionally mature and it seems to me it is this growing sense of mortality, inevitability, eventuality, nothingness, void. When you see yourself merging with the void one day not far into the future, you see everything in perspective so to speak. The bickering, fights, animosities, pettiness…all lose meaning. You not only want to forgive but you want to do it quickly, you want to return to a state of normalcy or peace…because every moment of limbo, every moment of not being at peace with a loved one seems like a moment lost in the travel to the void…out of which at least the surface evidence suggests we don’t meet again. Every person and every moment becomes so precious. I did not have this maturity when I was younger because I was not so conscious of my mortality…one does not entertain the thought. This perhaps is the reason for the arrogance of youth…the arrogance that comes with not knowing deeply…that you too will not last, you too will one day become old, you too will one day be one of the more susceptible ones to a virus, you too will be one of the most likely to die… sooner or later, you will die.

It’s funny how a sense of one’s mortality brings out the philosopher in one but mortality actually looming ahead like the traffic light which one must pay heed to or pay the penalty brings out the most pragmatic self out of us. We think about practicalities like hand washes, toilet rolls, food stuff, basically how to prolong the trip… we lose the mistiness and sappiness and become the most business-like of men. Maybe I am a bit hard on myself to say this because I am aware I am at heart pretty business-like anyway…I mean, I might philosophise till the cows come home but I will not allow myself to return a piece of work late. So in that sense I am equal parts idealist and realist and sometimes I feel that being both is the main cause of the tensions in my personality. But not to digress from my main theme, the very real danger we seem to be facing from this corona virus, I must admit, is driving my philosophies out of the window and making me think in realistic terms about what now? What is going to happen? When are we going to return to normal… normal news, normal days, normal troubles… and normal sense of mortality in the future…like the moon…ever present but in a comforting, distant, amiable…philosophical sort of way…

posted by Sylvia D'souza at 5:42 am 0 comments
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