If yet I have not all thy
love,
Dear, I shall never have it
all;
I cannot breathe one other
sigh, to move,
Nor can intreat one other tear
to fall;
And all my treasure, which
should purchase thee—
Sighs, tears, and oaths, and
letters—I have spent.
Yet no more can be due to
me,
Than at the bargain made was
meant;
If then thy gift of love were
partial,
That some to me, some should
to others fall,
Dear,
I shall never have thee all.
~ John Donne
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There is one whom I
greatly admire and adore and recently it seemed to me that I was probably not
even a blip on their radar. It pained me to think that might be so though I
could be wrong. And then I asked myself if it made a difference to my
admiration and adoration... that even as a worshipper I might be seen as
just one among many, let alone my devotion having any value. Does it make a
difference to how I feel? ... It doesn't. If I choose to elevate an idol and
adore it, is the idol obliged to adore me back? Is the idol supposed to be
thankful for my worship? Is the idol supposed to live up to my ideals? The idol
never asked to be elevated or put on a pedestal... It didn't ask to be
worshipped... how is it the idol's fault? It is my fault and mine alone if
I still look up to it... the idol owes me nothing... and yet I live in
hope that my sincere devotion will win me its regard... maybe someday... but
even if it doesn't...there is a pleasure to be found in devotion itself...maybe
similar to the pure pleasure to be found in virtue that seeks no reward but
itself...
