Some people I encounter have a strange reaction to disagreement or contradiction. There are two reactions that specifically bother me: 1. ignoring the disagreement/contradiction and carrying on with a different thread of the conversation, and 2. immediately agreeing with your opposite point of view. The first reaction tells me that they are not really interested in exploring an opposite point of view, they are not interested in why you think what you think, they couldn't care less if they/you might be holding a problematic position, and most of all, they have no desire to learn (or share). And the second reaction when it comes with no actual explanation or qualification for the about-turn, tells me that they probably never thought through their own point of view, they are not really committed to any particular point of view, or they would rather continue a comfortable conversation than get into any serious discussion that forces them to think. I have to admit that when people constantly do either of these things (I of course understand there might be times when people are not really in a space to engage seriously or there might be other genuine reasons), I gradually give up.

I suppose I might have mentioned this before—it is so fundamental to the way I approach relationships that I would be surprised if I haven't mentioned this—that the way to my heart is through my head. Mind you, it’s not a conscious approach, it’s just the way I am wired! I believe it's very different to how most people develop affections. In my case, a very high intellectual connection is the road really to a deep emotional connection. Which is why it is so rare. That is not to say that I do not have people in my life who are exceptions to this rule; the very rarity of this type of connection means there have to be. The reason I mention my orientation in this context is that with people who avoid exploring an idea, be it an agreement or a disagreement (frankly they are the same in my books), it's very unlikely that an intellectual connection could be reached. There is no authentic engagement so how can there be a connection? So I suppose when I give up I do not just give up the intellectual possibilities but perhaps possibilities for friendship as well... though philosophically speaking one could say the latter never existed in the first place.