To Be or Not To Be

A little kingdom I possess,
Where thoughts and feelings dwell;
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well.
-- Louisa May Alcott.
...........hmmm....that more or less describes my situation !!

~A Wise Man Said~

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
-- Aristotle

Monday, December 22, 2003
Am in a biggg hurry! Leaving for Mangalore in two hours, planning to spend this Christmas there!

More of a out-of-the-blue arrangement than anything else; a friend suggested (drilled might be a better word :p) it to me and I was immediately hooked. Well...not immediately, but on deeper thought (aadat se majboor!). My project at work was about to end, I could do with a break and ...I missed Mangalore.

This will be the first time I'll be spending Christmas in Mangalore. The only thing am dreading is, that I have only a week there and more than two dozen close relatives and all of them quite the sort to say "she went to see so and so, but couldn't spare time to see us". Apart from these minor unavoidables, am looking forward to enjoying myself.

Here's wishing everyone a Very Happy Christmas in advance!! :)

Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Accidentally stumbled upon a piece of musing on a blog, and got that very same feeling that you get when someone echoes your deeply-felt thoughts. Strangely, the post is titled “To be or not to be”!

“…Is it just me, or have I suddenly been caught up in a time frame whereby every single person around me is suddenly getting married? And the thing I noticed the most today, from the conversation is the notion of getting married just for the sake of getting married. Do people just want the most general things in life, security, a home and financial satisfaction and is the notion of an ideal love just slipping away from us. Its like, a notion which seemed so ideal once upon a time, but nowadays I think wealth and feeling safe override it. The whole 'having someone', it doesn't really matter who, but someone is just so apparent almost everywhere I look.

"What about the whole, taking time and effort to build something worthy, and satisfying in the long run. Someone you want to run under a waterfall with, someone you want to climb up a mountain with and share the view at the top, that someone you want to write a letter to on a rainy gloomy day, because just knowing, just knowing that someone will read it, makes that day that little less gloomy, and that little bit better. I think my standards in life are way too high, I think I need to glance around me, and try to fit in with what I see better. For real. Your young, you have your whole life to love, and even when you find it, who knows if its real..until you let it free and maybe just maybe it comes back to you...or can you really picture growing old with someone. Sitting out there in your back garden, on your deck chairs watching the green grass with that little cup of tea, a nice book and talking about how quickly your grandchildren are growing up.”

Monday, December 08, 2003
Have you ever been in a situation where you were overwhelmed with the feeling of being wronged, you wanted to blurt out all those words bursting in your heart, but at that moment, you just couldn't utter a word? hmm...happens to me.

I've tried to probe into why I become so tongue-tied when most I need to loosen it. At any other time, I could challenge the best of brains at an argument and have no qualms about winning. But at these times, something happens to me.

...I'm afraid I shall say something very harsh and hurt the other person. It is not altogether a selfless motive, let me tell you. I'm afraid I shall hurt the other person so much that I shall lose them. I look for words, search for words...that might not sound too hurting and yet convey my thoughts...but in the process, the meaning is either distorted, or lost; or nothing comes out at all, and am still searching...