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A little kingdom I possess, Where thoughts and feelings dwell; And very hard the task I find Of governing it well. ~ Louisa May Alcott ...that more or less describes my situation!
~A Wise Man Said~ It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. ~ Aristotle
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Friday, December 30, 2005
Wish everyone a very Happy New Year! :) I have been too tied up in this past one week or so to post a Christmas message, but better late than never as they say... Leaving on the 2nd of January for Mumbai. After all of 11 months. My next post should be from home, Sweet Home...Bye Bye HK! loved you and will miss you... Monday, December 19, 2005
By the amount of material that appears on this blog, one would think there's not much going on in my mind -- that is, if one considers a blog a reflection of one's mind, if not one's life in general. The fact is, a lot goes on in my head at any given point, thousands of ideas are jostling together for space, but the moment I try to pin them down on the keyboard ...poof! they're gone. I simply do not have the gift of the fingers. I can't ramble away as if I'm strolling in a garden, without a purpose, stopping to watch anything that might catch my fancy; I must write like I'm going to the post office, and of course, I know the way. Anyway, I have decided to try rambling once in a while, and while I'm at it and till am done with it (or think I have), I mean not to ask myself "what is your point?" Afterwards, if I feel there is no point at all, I will tell myself "that is why it is called Rambling". Ramble 1 All those who know me, know how sensitive I am (my best friend's oft-repeated words "I am the most insensitive person on earth and you're the most sensitive"; in case you're wondering how we happen to be best friends, let me say I'm no less mystified than you). Poke me with a knife and I might recover in a minute, but poke me with a callous, heartless, stinging barb of a word, and you've done me in -- well, at least for a day. Ramble 2 I have been maintaining this diary page very recently where I note down any attitude of mine that I feel needs changing. The motive being that if I do the same thing again, and find it already mentioned in the page, it serves as a rebuff plus reaffirms my desire to change. Granted that everyone has things they don't like in themselves, but coming to the selfish part in this whole proceeding, these are things that ultimately bring more hurt to myself than anyone else and if I can do something about it, I should. One of my entry says "Do not get emotionally involved in an argument with people who a) are not close to you and b) are not reasonable, no matter how much you feel about the subject. Assume an air of "casual indifference". If I could only follow my own advice, I should be a happier person. Ramble close. Am guessing I still sound like I was going to the post office than smelling the roses. :( Rambling is just not my scene or maybe I will need to keep doing it to get better. In any case, if you find my future posts a trifle different from my previous, you know what I'm doing -- trying hard to ramble! Wednesday, December 14, 2005
I have a particular quote as part of my default signature in hotmail: Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.) -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary. As I have mentioned many times before, I love quotes (ones that strike with wit) and love to note them. Have a file at home especially dedicated to quotes... Few days back, I came across another interesting quote from The Devil's Dictionary, and it got me curious about the book. It is, as the name clearly suggests, styled as a dictionary and a devilish one at that. Some gems: ABSURDITY, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. CLAIRVOYANT, n. A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead. DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse. EGOTIST, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest. NIRVANA, n. In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it. PAINTING, n. The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. Look here for more of where these came from! Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Exactly one month more for my return to India! While I am naturally very happy to be going home, I also feel a trifle sad looking at the year gone by and all the things I have come to love and all the things I will certainly miss. Am sure good things lie ahead, nevertheless one can't help feel nostalgic about the good things one leaves behind...but, like a friend said to me recently, c'est la vie! This weekend a group of friends and I went to Lantau Island, to see the world's largest outdoor seated bronze Buddha. A marvellous handiwork! Check out the picture in my photo blog... Those following my culinary progress closely might know that I had never tried my hand at making non-vegetarian food. Well, I did it! Sometime back made Prawn Curry, borrowing the recipe from a Mangalorean colleague. It came out pretty good for a first-time attempt, and ahem, that's what the others said, not me. :) Ever since I bought the iPod, have been enjoying my half-hour bus rides to and fro office. In the early mornings especially, I feel a wave of tranquility wash over me, as I gaze out of the window, watching the world pass by...music floating into my ears. There is this Chinese colleague of mine who resembles an Indian ex-colleague. I can't really point out in what way this resemblance struck me when I first saw him, but I realise now that it is not just the face. The Indian ex-colleague was an extremely polite/courteous person, as in, he used to stand aside for you even if you were a mile away, and other stuff like that. What I notice is, this Chinese colleague is also extremely polite and soft-spoken, and what beats me most, his voice is also pretty similar (when he doesn't speak Chinese, that is). This leads me to wonder: is it possible that there exist "types" of personalities in the world, defining certain attributes of the people of the type? Don't know, but this thought has crossed my mind many times... Tuesday, November 15, 2005
To enquire the price of an item from a Chinese salesperson, I typically say the following: "I buy this, how much you give me?" (No, my verbal communication is not as stunted as the sentence above might lead you to believe. It is just that I have got into the habit of using only "key words" with accompanying actions when having to communicate with non-English-speaking Chinese.) The Chinese salesperson might or might not understand my meaning, depending on which he/she might or might not come out with a calculator and type out the number. The number will most definitely be way higher than what I might want to settle for, and I will type out a new number in its place. This number will most probably be lower than what the Chinese salesperson is happy to give (or at least the Chinese salesperson will pretend so), and will now type out a number somewhere in between the higher and the lower numbers. We will either settle the matter at this neutral number or again type and retype and settle for a new number... I remember in one such haggling incident (for the record, bargaining is not only common, it is also very much expected in HK, especially in the small time shops!), I was asking for an item for 10 HKD, and the salesperson (a young lad), refused to give it to me for less than 15 HKD. We were onto it for a while and finally he said to me in an angry tone: "I give you 10HKD, you buy me!" I was completely speechless and astounded for a moment! My friend nudged me and whispered into my ears, when understanding dawned, and I couldn't stop laughing out loud. What he was trying to say was, "if you are getting this somewhere else for as low as 10HKD, buy it for me!" It is a common gimmick I have seen used by Indian shopkeepers too, but who would have guessed it by the sound of it?! Friday, November 04, 2005
I love shopping! I'm sure most guys at this point will say, "So which girl doesn't?" (have heard too many male friends cracking a joke or two on this subject!). Well, to my disappointment, there are many of them, and I have had the (dis) pleasure of meeting them. Fact is, before I came to live here all by myself, I had not had the scope to study so many different types of personalities this closely. There is only so much you can know about people when you hang out with them on a weekend and so much more you know when you actually live with them and also move around with them. I believe this is the difference between a courtship and a marriage too: the same person during a courtship might be a totally different personality from the same person after the marriage...and all because the dynamics when you live with a person day in, day out over a certain period of time are so different from when you meet them over an evening in a fine restaurant with good food and charming people around (I am not trying to advocate live-in relationships here; was just a flow of thought!) Funny how I've managed to digress from shopping to something so unrelated! What I was going to come to was: I am fond of shopping (window and otherwise!), and I have more fun when I go on outings with girl friends who also share my fondness for the same. Something like the difference between going to an Art museum with an art enthusiast like yourself as opposed to someone who doesn't care the next thing about art -- so that while you wax eloquent about some painting, the other person just stares at you staring at the painting and pretends to be interested in the best case or looks extremely bored in the worst case (or maybe vice versa, depending on which way you look at it...). How can you compare something like appreciating paintings in an Art museum to appreciating say clothes in a shop, you ask? My answer is, both demand the same basic knack: an aesthetic sense and a critical eye (ofcourse, as there are those who will appreciate art without having either, so there are those who shop with passion, in spite of having neither). Now that I have confessed to one of my favourite things, that is shopping, let me admit that my stay in Hong Kong has been an enjoyable one owing in no small part to the amount of scope I've had here to exercise this passion. The only one thing missing was (and the point of this post) a partner in crime -- someone who would share this passion with me -- but as all of you have rightly guessed (and friends no doubt will nod their heads), it hasn't daunted me in the slightest degree! :) P.S: Shall try to post pictures of some of the most bustling, colourful markets in HK like the Ladies Market in MongKok, Night Market in Temple Street, Jade Market in Yau Ma Tei, Stanley Market in Stanley and so on in the picture blog by and by! Friday, October 28, 2005
We're planning a Potluck dinner tomorrow in celebration of Diwali! The plan was hatched almost two weeks back and since then there has been much excitement and much exchange of recipes, menus, and the like. Happily, I have acquired some little proficiency in this department since last I wrote about these matters, and now even have special requests from my office junta for batata vadas, bhajjias and what not (not so happily, of course!). At first I made a list of choices of what I would like to make for the potluck. One spicy item and one sweet item is what I had in mind -- and the more traditional, as in Mangalore-specific -- the better. After much ado, I zeroed in on Chana-Tendli Sukhen and Besan Ladoos. Chana-Tendli is a proper traditional Mangalorean delicacy (very spicy and slightly sweet in flavour), served during special occasions including weddings, and also a personal favourite. For the sweet, I initially wanted to go for Payasam, which would have been traditional, but since the number of people joining in the potluck was increasing by the day, it didn't seem a wise choice (not less so because I haven't made it before!). Besan ka Ladoo is not a traditional sweet (infact, many South Indians haven't even heard of it). I have had them in Bombay, mostly during the Diwali season, and I absolutely love them! (umm, there aren't too many sweets I don't love, but that's another matter). I decided it was well worth risking some Ghee, Sugar, Besan and what's more, as the Ladoos can be stored for some time, I could try it out a week before, and if Project Success wasn't accomplished, could go back to making something else. I'm proud to say that last Sunday's experiment churned out good enough results to be presented for tomorrow's potluck! Now remains the Chana-Tendli. Planning to make it tonight -- the Chana's soaked, the recipe and instructions taken down minutely from Mom -- apart from breaking the coconut (which by the way, was never my scene; even in cooking projects at home, somebody or the other used to break it for me...ah, home, sweet home!), I'm looking forward to it! I have been tempted to post pictures for sometime now; after the DigiCam, taking pictures has never been so spontaneous and easy. I haven't done so till now because: a. I somehow felt it would change the tone of this blog. b. I felt the template of this blog (especially the white background) didn't lend itself to pictures. c. I am technically-challenged enough to think it was tricky stuff. So, I have finally gone and got myself another blog just for pictures. Am not sure if I will be able to maintain it considering that once am back home, I might not find anything new to capture -- but let me take this as far as it goes...Presenting the Besan ka Ladoos, for your drooling pleasure! Wish everyone a very Happy Diwali, in advance! :) Monday, October 03, 2005
Given a choice between an extremely stingy (someone who spends too little) person and extremely generous (someone who spends too much) person, whom would you choose? (I do know that people needn't be either extreme and a healthy balance is possible and desirable, but here my motive is not to preach on the advisability of striking a balance in one's spending/saving habits but to force a choice in favour of one or the other trait). This question, naturally, assumes that both the stingy and heavy-spender earn equally and are well off. For myself, I would go for the over-generous person than the over-stingy. It might be taking the analogy a bit too far, but I've noticed that one who is extremely stingy with his/her money is stingy with his/her affections as well. In any case, I never seem to strike a rapport with the overly-stingy -- when every little pleasure or amusement they can give to their loved ones ...is weighed in a scale with money, where every Paise counts... the pleasure or amusement is lost. In contrast, show me the person who'd even blow everything they have just to make their loved ones happy ...not practical, yes...but the gesture says something about the person to me! Friday, September 16, 2005
Have a holiday on Monday on the occasion of the Mid-Autumn festival. A week or so back I saw colourful lanterns being sold in shops everywhere and since a few days even apartment complexes (mine included) were decorated with lanterns. I was told that this festival is celebrated by lighting lanterns. It's all so colourful and wonderful -- same as Diwali except for the crackers! A friend of mine mentioned to me that a sweet called Moon Cake is distributed during this festival and seems they traditionally put a duck egg in the center of this cake (I couldn't tell if he was joking!). Few days back when the moon cake was distributed in my work place, I gingerly partook of a teeny piece and it turned out to be quite nice. Seemed like a mix of dried fruits and sweeteners and other regular stuff (Chinese sweets, as far as I've tasted, are mildly sweet, unlike our sweets). Being the sweet addict that I am, I didn't mind taking another one when I was offered -- but this time, much to my chagrin -- I bit into something that tasted like an egg and to this moment I have no clue whether it came out of a chicken or a duck. Shouldn't matter, I suppose! :( Plan to visit Victoria Park tomorrow evening to join in the celebrations. It's so great the way they have so many things planned for any festival or holiday, and what's more, these things are open and easily accessible to the general public. Am looking forward to the Tai Hang Fire Dragon dance, especially! Monday, September 05, 2005
Don't break the heart that loves you...don't let the.... As blogspot doesn't have a 'Current Music' indication feature, am forced to begin with the song playing in my head. I have only once before written about something I bought; now again, feel like sharing some of my excitement. Yesterday was my most expensive purchase ever -- a Compaq Presario notebook and something else too ...that might explain the bit about 'Music' ...an iPod mini! Like everything else that I call mine, am guessing these will be with me for a long time to come...in which case this post should serve to remind me of their B'days. :) I will not go into the details of how a technologically-challenged person like me could even dream of going in for something like a laptop. It is something like going into the forest while admitting to being scared of wild animals. Now that am into it, guess I'll simply have to use my best survival tactics and hope that I might come out of it in one piece -- if nothing more than I went in with. :( As for the iPod -- I must say I have been influenced by all the hype. One evening certainly hasn't been enough to prove to me otherwise. Let's see how we go from here! Friday, August 05, 2005
Have subscribed to Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day. What I like about it is not only that it gets me a new word (sometimes a familiar one, of course!) everyday, but also along with it a small history of the word -- the history is what I find fascinating. The word that I received today was "small beer". It means (apart from the obvious "inferior beer"), "something of small importance". Apparently this word dates to Shakespeare's day, and though he didn't coin it, he made it popular. Let me quote -- "In Othello, Desdemona asks Iago to describe a "deserving woman". Iago responds by listing praises for ten lines, only to conclude that such a woman would be suited "to suckle fools, and chronicle small beer"; in other words, to raise babies and keep track of insignificant household expenses. Desdemona quickly retorts, declaring Iago's assertion a "most lame and impotent conclusion." I am a little surprised. I somehow thought in olden days it was the pride of a 'deserving woman' to take care of the kids and manage the household, but from what I can make of this paragraph, it doesn't seem to be so. Why does Iago frame the description in most unflattering tones and why is Desdemona so quick to take offence at it? I thought it was only in these modern days that the role of a housewife is not respected as much as it should be...whereas at one time it was natural for women to assume it, and indeed even desirable. For my own part, I am confused. I certainly feel it is as challenging to be a successful housewife as it is to be, say, a manager in a company -- but I am not sure it is as satisfying, as I have not been in the former position. The only way I can test my own ground is to ask myself whether I would consider being one if the option or circumstance arose -- I find that very difficult to answer, but I wouldn't say an emphatic 'Yes' or 'No'. Friday, July 22, 2005
I can't believe I will complete six months in Hong Kong on July 31st. Exactly six months! That is the day I was scheduled to travel back to India too, but plans have changed, and I'm going to be here till end of December. I still remember my first day here and how utterly miserable and longing-for-home I was. How I tried but couldn't imagine how I would spend six long months (as it seemed to me then) here. How I wished there was some way I could fly back home...and look at me now, six months up and still counting! In this interim, I have grown to like this place, grown to appreciate the pleasures of living on one's own, grown to enjoy cooking, grown to love and value the people at home more (yes, absence does make the heart fonder!), grown to see what difference in the quality of life of an individual is possible when the country as a whole functions smoothly, grown to ...well, grown as a person, I guess... So...these six months have been mostly full of good things, except for a small piece of hard luck, that may actually be what we call "a cloud with a silver lining". I will be moving to a new apartment this weekend. I loved the current one and would have loved to continue, and was expecting to continue till the end of my term. But as things are, I will have to move. The silver lining is that this shift will shake me from that comfort zone that I usually settle into over a period of time, and force me to resume afresh in new surroundings. For a person who dislikes "change" and adapting to it, being pushed into the water is the only way to practice... Thursday, July 14, 2005
Was reading a short article 'A Telephonic Conversation' by Mark Twain. The concluding words: I must say I agree! I usually get this feeling of "incompleteness" if I cannot end a telephonic conversation (for that matter any communication!) in, what shall I say, a "proper good-bye", and a proper good-bye doesn't just consist of saying a "good-bye", but few more words and sentences with it and after it, that prolong and temper the good-bye. I find that most women share this delicateness when it comes to a good-bye and hence a good-bye between two women can last quite long, considering both have as much to say, after the actual good-bye has been said. This is well as it is, but when a man and a woman have to say a good-bye and the poor man not aware of a woman's sensitivities in this matter...well... The woman says a good-bye, and is just warming up to say more on those lines, when she is shocked to note the line is gone dead. There is no one at the other end. The man, having said a good bye and assuming the conversation over, has hung up, the beast! The woman is naturally hurt and displeased with the man for parting without so much as a "proper goodbye", and when next comes upon this unsuspecting male, is ready to burst, but holds her peace, and at the first opportunity of confrontation, tells him of his wrong-doing. The man does not 'get it', but next time you might hear him ask hesitatingly after one of those good-byes, "May I keep the phone now?" Sometimes I do wonder if men are from Mars and women from Venus! Tuesday, July 05, 2005
umm...I have been 'tagged', if that's the correct way of putting it. :) I am not much of a list person...so without much ado or preamble, here are my answers to the questions ... Number of Books I Own Never thought of counting them...must be not more than 100, I think... I usually do not buy books if I can borrow them from a library...or unless I want to particularly own them... Last Book I Read Currently reading The Old Curiosity Shop by Charles Dickens... Last Book(s) I Bought Mein Kamph by Adolf Hitler ... Books that Mean(t) a Lot to Me *in no order and not exhaustive* Pride and Prejudice -- Jane Austen Jane Eyre -- Charlotte Bronte Great Expectations -- Charles Dickens Wuthering Heights -- Anne Bronte Collective Works of Shakespeare The Demon-Haunted World -- Carl Sagan Books I Wish I had Finished *Books I had to give up half-way and looking forward to taking up again* The Pickwick Papers -- Charles Dickens Don Quixote -- Miquel Des Cervantes I understand that the norm is to pass this tag on to other blogger friends ...I will not name anyone; all those who love books are welcome to take this up! :) Tuesday, June 28, 2005
I've never been a movie buff. But ever since I came to HK, movies seem to have become a part and parcel of everyday living just like food or water! I don't remember being so enthusiastic about the latest Hindi releases as I am here...and I notice that it's not just me; most people who are abroad seem to go through this transformation in the movie department -- wonder why? Other than English and Hindi, I have also been watching quite a few Tamil movies, courtesy, my Tamilian flat-mate. I have always had a thing for regional movies, since they pose some sort of a challenge (as opposed to the predictable Hindi stuff) to me. Even if the plot isn't complicated, it becomes so due to the language hurdle. Only yesterday I watched a Tamil movie 'Autograph' -- was quite nice. Speaking of Tamil movies, sometime back in India I watched 'Kakha Kakha' at the recommendation of a close friend, and it was very good. I especially love the songs and have played them so many times, that now I can sing bits and pieces, without even knowing what it means. The other day I actually scared my flat-mate when I went 'uyirin uyire' out of the blue! As to Hindi movies, I haven't seen so much junk in so little time, I have to admit. Going by the noise surrounding 'Bunty aur Bubbly', I managed to get the first print even though I was told the quality wasn't good. I'm not quite sure if it's the print that did it, but I certainly couldn't imagine myself raving about it. A few movies I actually enjoyed watching -- Flavors, Chokher Bali, My Brother Nikhil, Mr and Mrs Iyer... I haven't yet managed to get my hands on too many English movies. 'Sound of Music' is one I luckily borrowed and it goes down into my list of favourites. It gave me as much delight as reading a book, and that's saying a lot. Another I had the pleasure of watching recently is 'Sleepless in Seattle'. Also happened to visit the local theatre for 'Mr and Mrs Smith' -- watchable, but not what I would call "my" kind of movie. As maybe evident from all the movie names I've mentioned in my likeable list, I am not one for 'bashing up and bloodying around'. Well, so much for movies...you like them, you hate them...you just can't ignore them I guess! :) Thursday, May 26, 2005
All of us seem to be running very fast... somewhere, someplace... as if in a hurry to get there... but where are we running to? What do we hope to find at the end of this journey called life... I still haven't figured it out, but most people seem to have and I have to congratulate them. At a very young age in life, I realised that money meant something. I don't pretend to say there are not others who know its value more than me - I have certainly seen more unfortunate - but I did realise it meant something. As I happened to read somewhere - don't remember the exact words - something to the effect that money may not solve all problems, but it certainly solves most. Well, I'll say I agree. But out of my early experiences, I realised that though it was something, it was not everything. It just seems to be everything when you don't have enough of it, but when you do... it leaves you empty. It just does not fill you up or make you feel warm and happy from within. It affords a temporary satisfaction; the satisfaction of buying that dining set that you absolutely love... but it is just that - 'temporary'. I find that most young people these days are so hot in pursuit of money that they crib about having no time for anything else. No time for family, no time for loved ones - and, no time even for themselves. When I am asked, what would you? If we don't earn now, when will we? Look at so and so, and look at me? I do not know what to say. I want the best for them. I want them to succeed. I want them to have all the comforts of house, car, etc. I want them to get there. But I ask myself, what is this money for? Who is this money for? If it is only for yourself to enjoy, good enough. But if it is for you to enjoy with those you want to enjoy it with, are you sure they will still be around when you have all those things? Isn't every moment that you can have and share with your dear ones, worth having and sharing. Tomorrow you will have opportunities for money, but tomorrow, if they are gone, will they come back? In this race for money when you leave them behind, what if they're not there, when you do turn back? Sometimes I feel that we never give the people we love, enough of our time and attention, when they are there with us. We never realise that at the end of the day, it is people who matter. It is they who bring moments of joy and happiness in our lives... it is they who pull us up when we have lost all hope. Imagine if we were offered to live on a lonely island -- in a million dollar mansion and all the works. Would that be something? I want to say this.... do pursue your dream.... do succeed...earn so much recognition and wealth that I can say I am proud of you.... but don't run so fast that you do not have the time to catch your breath and tell the people who mean something to you, that you're still with them...that you want them, need them, love them.... that no matter how fast you run, you can go only so far without them... ---------- No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr Friday, May 20, 2005
Long time since I shared some lovely words ...here goes... A Book of Verses underneath the Bough, A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread--and Thou Beside me singing in the Wilderness-- Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow! -- Omar Khayyam Wednesday, April 27, 2005
I am very fond of "conversation". People who do not know me too well might be surprised with this admission, but those who do, know it only too well. The good part about sharing a house with a girl of one's own age group is that there is a wide scope for conversation (I won't call it gossip, since the subject and intent wouldn't qualify it as such). And happily for me, the girl in question, that is, my room-mate, is as fond of conversation as I am. I have noticed that there are certain people, who love to talk, but have no patience at all to listen. One finds them enlarging on a subject of interest to them (without the least consideration if it could be of any interest to the opposite party), and going on in the same vein for hours, without expecting even so much as a murmur of response. If one struggles to interrupt in the momentary pause-for-breath, and ask a question, or share some related information, one's words are lost, as the fellow having gained some breath, speeds on from where he left off. It is almost as if that person is interested in the sound of his own voice, and the audience is just a necessary accessory for it. I love to converse, as admitted before, but conversation to me is a "two-way" process, and can happen only with a person who is as interested in listening as in talking. Happily again, my room-mate and I, share this good rapport, and we enjoy our conversations. These days, there is talk of "marriage" all around. Friends getting married, cousins getting married, parents hinting subtly or not-so-subtly about marriage...and so on. Naturally then, "marriage" is a hot topic of conversation. We both have our separate views as regards to it, but in the process of sharing our views, we usually gain a little more perspective. Let me share some of it: I realise that when we talk "marriage" in our traditional set-up, we usually talk of "arranged marriage" or "love marriage". Either you have fallen in love with someone and want to marry them with or without your parents’ wishes, or that your parents have found someone for you and want you to marry them, with or without your wishes. What I find is, there is nothing like a "middle ground". What if a person hasn't fallen in love with anyone, and what if the person doesn't want to just "get married to someone"? In most of the "arranged marriage" scenarios that I hear about, the bride and groom seem to have got no more insight into each other than a "look at the photo", or, "look at the boy/girl", or, "small talk with everybody and the neighbour present", would allow. The "look at the photo" scenario actually scares the daylights out of me. If I had to choose a person even for a job, I would not want to make a judgment based on the "photo", and it amazes me that people can choose a person for life, based on a photo. The second scenario, though less frightening than the first, is not much less so. Where in a photo, a person can see nothing but the passive features, in the real situation, they can atleast see it in the context of an overall personality. But again, would you ever look at a person in the train, and finding the personality pleasing, decide to marry them? What is, then, different about this situation? I do know that certain things like the family background, the horoscope, etc. would have been matched before-hand (I will not venture into the validity of these considerations), but assuming that the stranger in the train (whom you have only just now looked at), is of a good family, does match with your horoscope, would you consider marrying them? Now coming to the third scenario, which is again, a little less frightening than the second, but again, not much less so. Here you not only get to see the real person before you, but might even be permitted to exchange a few words. This exchange, to my knowledge, happens before the entire troupe present. Even if we relax the scenario a bit, and assume that there is nobody else present, what could you learn about a person in a 1-hour conversation (or more likely 15-mins?) that would make you want to be bound to them for life? There is no concept, I find, of letting people get to know each other, grow to be friends with each other, find if they complement each other, and then choose if they would like to take the next step. I do agree there are pitfalls on this path too, but isn't it worth all the pitfalls, to know that you will be spending the 'rest of your life' with someone you have grown to respect and love as a friend, than with a total stranger? A friend of mine once told me, what a friend of his once told him, that lucky are those who find a best friend and partner for life in the same person. I still remember those words and cannot agree more! Thursday, March 24, 2005
It's almost two months now since I came here...can't believe how time has passed! Thursday, February 24, 2005
So, I am well and settled in Hong Kong! I had intended to write much earlier than this, but lack of time to write and lack of convenient access to the net has resulted in this postponed post. Now that I have got down to it, I hope to be more regular...especially now that I have more to write in terms of experiences. So much has happened since I came here, so many thoughts have flitted and circled in my head, so many things have attracted and interested me, so many emotions have overwhelmed me, particularly in the first few days of landing in a distant land...that I am now confused as to where to start and where to end. Maybe I shall just ramble on... The evening I landed here, I don't know what I had expected to feel - but certainly not a huge piece of dead weight on my chest. It was like a tiny little piece that lodged there just when I said my byes to my family, and something that grew and grew during the short journey and something that I could feel sitting very heavy the moment I landed outside the airport and even after i reached my apartment. I have made two good friends here, my colleagues actually, due to whom I feel I have come out faster from my homesick state. I still miss home, but I am not immune to the sights and sounds around me ...and I must say, they are interesting, especially for a first time, amateur traveller like me. The very second week of my stay, we celebrated the Chinese New Year. This meant two pluses - one, I got a one week holiday and two, I got to see Hong Kong in all its Chinese flavour. The city was so alive, so blooming with lights and flowers, so vibrant with the air of festivities...would have been difficult not to catch the excitement. Many events had been arranged for the Chinese New Year - the parade, fireworks, lazer show - we attended all of them and I was happy to have bought a Digital camera a month too soon. I did feel at times, though, that the eagerness of capturing a moment for the future lost me the pleasure of the moment. But, nonetheless, I was happy with my new instrument! It was sad when the long weekend came to an end...since then, things have more or less fallen into a comfortable routine. The first thought I had about the people here was 'I see only a sea of chinkis'. The second thought was, 'I can't understand a word of their language'; it wasn't even vaguely familiar. By now I am used to the sound of it, and come to think of it, it has more sounds than words. A typical dialogue will contain as many ohhs and aahs as anything else. I have picked up a few words like "haiyya haiyya" meaning "yes"! I am told that the way a word is pronounced can make a dramatic change to the meaning of a word, so it would be risky to try out any Chinese with the chinkis. Reminds me of a joke that a colleague here was relating. Seems a Chinese guy mentioned a Hindi word to him and he was shocked - it sounded like an abuse - but it turned out to be quite an innocent word. I was curious to know what this word was and being a gentlemanly kind of person, he obviously refused to divulge. We then asked him to tell us atleast the English equivalent, and he said "Holiday" (Now you know what I mean by the extra "aahs"!). The food is quite another thing altogether. I myself am not particularly experimental by nature. And this was one area I had so much heard stories about even before coming here - right from dog biscuit to snake soup - that I didn't feel anymore encouraged to be experimental. I didn't get to see any proofs of dog biscuit or snake soup, but I was convinced that the reality wasn't anything worth tasting either. The Indians here are somehow paranoid about the food and this feeling in a way got transferred to me. Now before buying something as harmless as bread, I check the ingredients. Before buying eggs, I happened to ask my friend, eggs yes, but of what bird? Was surprised to hear those words coming out of my mouth. As it happened, they even have duck eggs! Another quality of their food is its marked blandness as compared to our food. The irony or the comedy is, as Chinese food in India is Indianised, sadly, the Indian food out here, is Chinified - that is to say, bland. I make up for this blandness by adding a little extra spice to the preparations at home (my forays into cooking warrant a separate blog altogether) . To narrate an incident that happened last week, two of us decided to have lunch at a Buddhist restaurant (I was told they could be counted on for "pure veg" food). It was the first time I went to a real Chinese restaurant, so everything was quaint. The chop sticks were placed. A jar of tea was brought. I noticed the lady sitting towards me washing her bowls and chop sticks with the tea. I was surprised, to say the least. My friend told me it was a custom to wash chopsticks and other dishes with the tea before starting, she didn’t know the why and wherefore! The next hurdle was the menu; everything was scribbled in pure Chinese (not that I could have made the difference). The same lady sitting towards us thankfully understood English as well as our predicament, and translated our order. The food was a cousin to our Indian fried rice, and more or less palatable. What astonished me about the same lady was that when we asked her to translate our need for spoons and forks instead of chop sticks, she actually went and brought them herself. I was actually embarrassed by her courtesy; infact I cannot call it merely "courtesy", it was something else indeed! This one gesture by an unknown lady increased my warmth for her people... I had been told that those who love shopping (I am without doubt one of those) would find much to interest themselves here. And they weren't wrong. At every baby step of the way, stands a plaza or a mall or a shui mui wui (or x y z) shop selling everything from onions to laptops. The onions are fine, but for a technically challenged person like me, the laptops and techno-savvy people around me was something disconcerting. I like taking a stroll in the nearby mall after lunch, and usually accompany this Indian colleague (not one of the two friends I mentioned before). He would stop at every mobile phone shop along the way and veer towards this shop called "Fortress" which is the place to find the latest and greatest in technology, and while he would admire a computer accessory here or a camera there or a handy cam somewhere else, I would try to put on a look of genuine interest (I can't pretend I felt any) while longingly gazing at a boutique outside. The tough part came when I myself had to buy a digital camera and being one who likes to get only the best, I asked for expert comments from everyone. I didn't see it coming though. I was told I should look for a '5 pixel' and not a '3 pixel'; I should check how much 'free memory' they were ready to give me; some spoke of memory sticks and CF cards'; some said it should be 'rechargeable battery' and not 'regular battery', some vouched for Sony, some for Canon...while all the time I was sadly at sea. Finally, after a lot of deliberation, confusion, and frustration - I bought the one that fit the bill. Have been rambling for far too long now...but there are many more stories, many more thoughts...hope to keep updating the blog! Sunday, January 30, 2005
Completed another year of my life this month. The coming year promises to be full of changes—and not being one for change, I am rather daunted by the prospect. But I intend to do my best. I had hinted about one such change in my previous post. It is actually nothing in itself, but a lot to me. I shall be leaving for Hong Kong tonight for a 6-month assignment. It would be the first time I would have stepped outside the country (outside Maharashtra and Karnataka, to be precise!)…the first time I would have been away from my family for this long…first time I would have lived alone…first time I would be forced to do some ‘serious cooking’!…first in many many ways… but putting all uncertainties and anxieties aside, am actually looking forward to it. There is the thrill of discovering a new place, but more than that, there is the pleasant anticipation of discovering new parts of myself. So long then, for now! My next post (when I find the time and the resources) shall be from Hong Kong. Fare thee well, India, till I come! Sunday, January 16, 2005
Wishing everyone a belated Happy New Year!! :) Sorry for the long silence; had been caught up in a whirlpool of activities, the issue of which I shall post soon. For now, a few lovely words -- An unseen hand makes all our moves; And some are great, and some are small; Some climb to good, some from good fortune fall; Some wise men, and some fools we call; Figures, alas!of speech! -- For destiny plays us all. -- Cowley |