To Be or Not To Be
A little kingdom I possess,
Where thoughts and feelings dwell;
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well.
-- Louisa May Alcott.
...........hmmm....that more or less describes my situation !!
~A Wise Man Said~
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
~When in Lancaster~
Life as PhD Student
Encyclopedia of Philosophy
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Long time, again! I hereby promise never to start my blog with an excuse, it’s turning out to be a habit, and a bad one at that. :(
I got a bit jolted when I found a mail in my hotmail inbox today – a kind person wanted to know if I would consider selling my blog for a stated sum (which I will not disclose here), as it was in “disuse” anyway. I cannot deny that I was pleased somebody wanted to “buy” my blog (put aside pay me $X), but at the same time it hit me hard that my blog was being considered “dead” (inactive, disused, what’s in an adjective?). I won’t say what it took me to reject the offer (actually, nothing), but it brought me back to planet blog.
I am reading n number of books these days. This is something new for me. Till as late as two years back, I woudn’t have imagined reading two books at a time, while today, am juggling with approximately five. Thought a little about it and came up with two things – one is that all five of these books are non-fiction, whereas the staple reading for most of my life has been fiction. Fiction involves you emotionally as well as mentally whereas non-fiction only mentally – so multi-reading, where involvement is not emotional, may be easier. Second thing is, like everything else, my reading habits may have naturally changed slightly. Partly owing to the lack of time these days to finish a book as soon as I’ve picked it up.
An incident happened a few days back that made me want to take a pen and blog (I know, I am still a pen-paper person). I will not state the context (what with the blog being public and all), but let me put it this way:
A person, who for a period of three months or so, happily accepted or rather encouraged my guidance and advice for improvement (purely in a professional sense), made a total about-face on this day, and made me curse myself for having been so trusting and forthright in my dealings. This person felt that rather than guide and advice, I had diminished her confidence by making her failings known to her. However, her grouse apparently was not so much her getting to know her weaknesses, but the “way” they had been communicated to her.
Now to add some background about this person: This person is considered to be “uncultured” and “uncouth” amongst most of those who know her. Politeness and she have merely had a brushing acquaintance with each other, if at all. Subtlety bounces off her as a cotton ball might bounce off a hippopotamus (incidentally, the thick skin and fat are also other common traits shared with that creature).
Two things made a most profound impression on me. I would agree that considering the make-up of this person, I would be a double idiot to let her influence me negatively, but these are things not so much about her, but more about “me”, in that, how I need to deal with these in future.
Number 1, I need to be a little less forthright and straightforward when I do not “trust” the opposite party enough (in this case, I didn’t). What is said with the best of intentions and earnestness, and interests of that person or situation at heart, may be misconstrued, or worse still, misused (as in this case). I was led to believe all along that my efforts were appreciated, and one fateful day, there is a turn-about, catching me unawares and unequipped to defend myself. Number 2, Some people are like the cat (or is it an ostrich?) that closes its eyes and thinks that the world does not see it. Telling the cat that you can actually see it, or rather, destroying its pretty illusion, may lead to not-so-nice consequences for you. The cat will think that if the rest of the world does not claim to see it, you must be a villain or a liar to make such a claim. Far from thanking you for waking it up to reality, the cat will scratch you with its claws, and go back to sleep (as usual). The lesson is, do not mess with the cat, let it sleep, cat will be happy, world will be happy. Metaphors apart, some people would rather be blissful in ignorance of their faults, than be woken up to them so that they can do something to change. Such people, as I discovered, are best left to their bliss.
Hummph…now that I have got that out of my system…
Tomorrow is Mother Mary’s feast. We traditionally celebrate it like Onam, atleast food-wise. Banana leaf, and on that, nine types of delicacies. This time I rather doubt we’ll be going the elaborate way, but let’s see. Will probably take a picture of the spread (if we do go the elaborate way), and paste it on the picture blog! (come to think of it, my picture blog’s turning out to be a “Nature and Food” blog! :) )