To Be or Not To Be
A little kingdom I possess,
Where thoughts and feelings dwell;
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well.
-- Louisa May Alcott.
...........hmmm....that more or less describes my situation !!
~A Wise Man Said~
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
~When in Lancaster~
Life as PhD Student
Encyclopedia of Philosophy
Thursday, August 06, 2009
I happened to read an article on how parents are rewarding/bribing kids to encourage good behaviour these days. Makes me wonder. Especially when I look at today’s children. When you bribe someone for doing something good, do you teach the right value? Say for example, if a child doesn’t go to sleep on time and you tell him/her that you will buy them a toy they have been hankering after if they go to sleep, is that the best way to discipline the child? As per the article, this is the way the tide is turning, and psychologists are only now realizing the pitfalls of this approach.
Personally, I don’t agree with this approach at all. It’s not that I am against rewarding children but I would go with rewards that are not “the primary motivation” for the child to act a certain way. If the child of its own acts responsibly and well, and a reward comes later, it is fine (I would call it positive reinforcement), but I think that’s very different from encouraging the child to do something that is expected of him, by dangling a carrot. The child may understand that this is good behavior because it is getting rewarded but the child may also learn that any good behavior, unless returned with a reward, is not worth demonstrating. Isn’t the essence of a value that it is worthy of being adopted for its own sake?
The article also mentions that this new dynamic between parents and children may have to do with changing times and culture – how materialistic we have become as a society. I agree we have become more materialistic, more money, more goods, more possessions, more lifestyle oriented – but I would like to think we can still teach our kids basic values and respectful behaviour without mixing them up with money and goods. But what do I know?