To Be or Not To Be

A little kingdom I possess,
Where thoughts and feelings dwell;
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well.
~ Louisa May Alcott

...that more or less describes my situation!

~A Wise Man Said~

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
~ Aristotle
Tuesday, January 07, 2020
 
Well, it's my last day in Dubai with family. I feel like I am in a different universe when I am here. Anything that can be different is different and that gives me something like an out-of-body sensation or as of watching a spectacle in which I am an actor too.

I live an intensely mental life in Lancaster (which is home at least for the time being) and in Dubai I barely use my mental faculties. I have very little emotional people connections there and here it is my closest emotional connections. There I am surrounded by nature and here I am surrounded by concrete. There hardly any sun, here one cannot get away from the sun. There it is a quiet and peaceful town, here it is as noisy and buzzing as city life can be. There I have to do everything on my own, here I don't need to lift a finger. And so on...
All of this makes my other life seem unnatural rather than just life in a different place. The more time passes, the more distant the other life seems... makes me wonder whether I would ever be able to adjust to it again. I usually take about 2 weeks to settle in into my other life after this experience, or to get into my somewhat new skin. 
This time my trip is much shorter than usual. I will not be spending my birthday with family as every year. I am entering a crucial phase in my studies and I need to bring all of myself to it, sooner the better. I am trying not to feel so bad about this even though I wish it didn't have to be so because I know it's a wiser decision, all things considered. I see 2020 as something of a landmark year for me but I feel I need to be prepared to meet it half-way...let's see...hoping for the best for myself, and for you, my dear readers.... may you all have a very Happy New Year! 

posted by Sylvia D'souza at 9:10 pm 0 comments
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