To Be or Not To Be

A little kingdom I possess,
Where thoughts and feelings dwell;
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well.
~ Louisa May Alcott

...that more or less describes my situation!

~A Wise Man Said~

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
~ Aristotle
Wednesday, April 01, 2020
 
I am quick to take on the character of a victim. I am perhaps being a bit harsh on myself but I feel that whenever something happens, things don't go my way, people don't behave the way I want, opportunities don't materialise... I immediately become a victim. I blame my ill luck, my destiny, my circumstances... The good thing is I don't wallow in this mood for long and move on planning my next course of action. I might even forget my temporary setbacks if good things happen soon enough. But, while the victim mood lasts, it's pretty discomfiting... that's where I am now.

I have to have a word with myself in this victim phase to paint the situation in its real light which is never as bad as I imagine it to be. I am thinking to myself now, how very entitled of me, I have health, I have a roof over my head, I have food to eat, I have people who love me, I have people I adore working with, I have seen something of the world, I have had opportunities to broaden my mind... I could think of things I don't have too and make it a moving list but no matter how moving, it would not even come close to comparison with real victims... those whose list is the opposite of my "have" list. When I think about people in India now walking from one state to another because they are rendered jobless by the lockdown, I feel I should be ashamed to even put myself in the category of victims. If anything, I should be grateful for what I have especially because I know what it was to not have...

I am not saying of course that because some people are much less fortunate than us we do not have the right to wallow in our own small miseries. I guess we wouldn't be human if we didn't feel our own troubles more keenly than the world's. But we or rather I need to develop a thicker skin that bounces back the light balls that life throws at me rather than falling down all too easily into victimhood! Not everything is going to go my way nor everyone is going to love me or even know me for who I am... I must accept that it's just the way life is... and move on without falling down.

posted by Sylvia D'souza at 7:32 pm 0 comments
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