To Be or Not To Be

A little kingdom I possess,
Where thoughts and feelings dwell;
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well.
~ Louisa May Alcott

...that more or less describes my situation!

~A Wise Man Said~

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
~ Aristotle
Tuesday, July 14, 2020
 
Dear readers, after almost 4 years in the UK, I had my first visit to a doctor today. You know I avoid the medical world like the plague, which is ironic to say the least, but now that we are in the middle of a plague I should be going to the doctor’s, well, that’s like the icing on the irony cake! ;) I used to joke when this corona business started that the one place I won’t want to be visiting is the doctor’s; of course, I never expected to visit it then. I guess God took this as a personal challenge! :( As they say, never say never.

A few months ago I had written about my bad case of acne. The bad case has only gotten worse and you might be forgiven for thinking it’s a minor issue what with life and death problems around us… that’s what I thought too when it started… but having given it almost six months now I realised that it was not a light problem after all. It was affecting me mentally and emotionally…just looking at my face which I couldn’t exactly avoid looking at if I had to apply the creams and stuff… was giving me anxiety and stress. And then it’s said that stress exacerbates acne…so all in all I was caught in a vicious circle not to mention my fear and dread of going to a doctor, on top of that dread of figuring out how the medical world functions here, on top of that fear of the virus doing the rounds in all sorts of places… you get the picture? How was I not supposed to be anxious and stressed is the question!

Finally, I took courage in my rather trembling hands, and decided to get the ball rolling to meet a doctor. I say ball rolling because I never expected it to be as easy as turning up at the doctor’s. Something told me this would be something long drawn out and it was. Having not visited a doctor in so many years I was apparently deactivated on the system… not to go into all the details but it all culminated in me eventually seeing a doc today.

I don’t know if it’s a difference between doctors here and doctors in India or maybe it’s just that doctors in general don’t realise the effect their words have on patients. My dear readers may remember the episode of my foot injury some years ago and how the doctor said I might have had to amputate my foot if I hadn’t visited the hospital when I did (you understand why I avoid doctors/hospitals/so on?). I obviously didn’t expect to hear any chilling pronouncements this time what with the problem being my acne and all, but had I gone in there with a heart palpitation I wouldn’t have heard anything worse to make it beat faster I’m guessing. Suffice to say I have started with a very low risk treatment of a topical cream but if this doesn’t help matters then the next level treatments will progressively increase in risk :( I mean, I don’t understand what I am supposed to say to this…? Fix my cheeks and let what happens to my liver …?
All in all though, I am glad I visited today. I am back in one piece and just the thought that I am following a doctor’s advice makes me feel that I am on the way to getting fixed. Though I am still a little miffed about the advice… I was told not to put any moisturiser or anything at all on my face. I asked, how was I supposed to care for my face then? The response, how has caring helped your face? I couldn’t deny the logic of it, could I? :(

posted by Sylvia D'souza at 6:17 am 0 comments
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