Nowadays whenever something doesn’t work out as per my expectations or fizzles out, I ask myself, what can I learn from this? Earlier I would have simply blamed fate but now I think, wait a minute, fate is trying to tell me or teach me something. I might have been disappointed this time round but maybe this disappointment was necessary because I am yet to learn something. I need to think of this as an opportunity. As an opportunity to learn that lesson or I am going to be disappointed yet again. I guess I am taking this approach because when I look back on my life, like a meme I saw recently succinctly puts it, “the things that didn’t work out for me worked out for me”. When I think about what if two-three of my major disappointments hadn’t happened, I realise I would be on a completely different trajectory, and not one that I would choose over the one I am on now. To give an example, I was once extremely disappointed to not get a certain job which was in a different city than Mumbai where I lived. At that point I thought of it as a stellar career opportunity but now when I think of it, I wonder what the big deal was. The job I got after that was a million times better, and what is even better, it sort of paved the way for other things I wouldn’t have done if I had got that initial job. Also, I would have lived away from my family and now having lived away from my family for a few years I am glad I didn’t lose more time with them. So lesson number one is, I didn’t really lose anything then though I thought I did. And I learnt something from that episode.

In the present case too, I am telling myself that though it feels like the end of the world, it isn’t. What’s going to come after this will most likely be way better and maybe this was not the best time for this opportunity to materialise. I am also thinking of the many lessons I have learnt from this setback. It boils down to the fact that I must avoid a sense of entitlement. Yes, I do believe I deserve certain things and I do believe I could do more than justice to certain things, but to convert what I believe to what other people believe of me is a process, it can’t be a demand or an expectation. Obviously we all would like to be handed things on a plate but that’s not how the real world works and if that’s how it doesn’t work, I do not have cause to be disappointed. All in all, I must be more patient, more stoic, and more focused on the road rather than the destination. I generally am these things but sometimes when the destination seems to be just around the corner, I lose a sense of perspective. I just want to be there already. That can misfire because I lose energy and motivation when I realise it was a mirage. There are still more bends to be crossed and traversed. And the other thing is I must not think myself entitled to other people’s consideration. I am not wrong to think that if they believe in me and are on my side, they should show up and step up. But I must not put stock on it. If it happens, great. If not, too bad. That will help me remain grounded. That will help me remember that the only person you can ultimately count on showing up and stepping up, is you.

Maybe losing a battle or two is good preparation for winning the war…