There are two things that piss me off real quick: 1. To be told what to do, and 2. To be taken for granted.

I have a bit of a contrarian spirit. The moment someone tells me to do something, my immediate reaction is opposition. It might be a reasonable ask but if the person is asking to simply exert authority or not giving me credit for being able to think for myself, I am going to dig in my heels. I suppose my general stance is people should be given the freedom to do things their way. Leave them to figure out how to do it, to find their own way to it. That's not how everyone works so it's okay to tell people if they expressly ask or show signs of wanting to be told I guess. But for the people who like to do it their way, this can be extremely off-putting and counter-productive. Come to think of it, the best bosses I have had/have are those that have a finely developed sense of what category the person belongs to. If they should be let free or if they should be more closely guided. I suppose I love these bosses because I also sort of see it as an expression of trust, and funnily enough when that trust is established, you go to them yourself. You respect it when they tell you something.

Being taken for granted happens to me when people think my natural inclination to help is an indication I can be pushed around. I always jump to help people especially if it concerns something that I am skilled at. I like to contribute what I have or where it can add value. But I have realized that I need to be more selective for my own sake. Not everyone appreciates or values the amount of effort you put in, and being a perfectionist I put in a lot by default. I perhaps need to weigh in whether by helping I am genuinely helping or harming in the sense that people think they can 'use you'. It's important to take stock of whether you are giving to people who are actually worthy of it and who will cherish it in the right way. They need to see it as a privilege to have you by their side and not a right.