I have a tendency to get annoyed by narrow ways of thinking that take fundamental assumptions about life for granted. Instead of questioning them or considering that there may be other possibilities. I suppose it's annoying because people with traditional views go on to say things as if it's a common understanding and to refute that commonplace would require tearing down an entire structure or belief system. Something that's too tiresome for a casual conversation with people whose minds have never been opened to such a possibility. But more than that, it cannot lead to anything fruitful. The better option is to nod, smile, live and let live. We can all live in different paradigms peacefully enough if we never cross paths. One of the reasons why, despite the many ups and downs, I have never felt more at home than in my new abode.

I noted some things that might be useful for me keep in mind to make interactions more peaceful:

1.   It's not about you; it's about them: oftentimes when it seems like people are making an evaluation of some sort, it is less about them evaluating you and more about them justifying something to themselves. It might seem as if they are judging your life or your choices, but actually they are trying to validate their own. Maybe instead of seeing it as an attack on oneself, one must allow them grace and space to make peace with themselves.

2.   The less weight you put on things, the easier they are to hold: ultimately the only person who can let things weigh heavily on you, is you. So hold them lightly. It is hard to be completely immune to the external world but worth learning how to firmly secure oneself to internal foundations such that external gusts of wind don't keep swaying you off course.

3.   Everyone is on their own life journey: a big issue is that we try to judge other people with our own standards, values, ideals, aspirations, forgetting that we are all driven by what matters to us personally. It is okay if someone drops everything and moves to the Himalayas and it is okay if someone finds joy in work...or cooking... or whatever. They are not living my life nor I theirs and the only yardstick that should matter is one’s own.

4.   Let go…: even if someone says something that seems to completely misinterpret you as a person, let it go with amusement if not kindness. Instead of explaining or justifying or feeling like you have to defend yourself. It’s one thing to try someone else’s shoes and another to get into their skin. Those who have the capacity to reflect will do so on their own and revise their interpretations and those who don’t… are perhaps best let go of.