New Year’s resolutions are overrated. I don't remember remembering a resolution beyond Jan and that's a stretch too. But I think it's not so much about keeping to a resolution in a rigid way but rather the process of reflection that leads to it. There's something in that?

Over the past year many a times I have wished I could be a better person. Usually after the fact. I don't mean better in terms of integrity, honesty, authenticity, loyalty, and so on, on which I rate myself well enough. Rather I mean the things that tend to be in conflict with these. Such as empathy, compassion, tolerance and so on. You might well wonder how they are in conflict but I'll give a simple example. Honesty coupled with my analytical nature dictates that I see things as they are, unvarnished. But empathy might dictate that I see things in a kindlier light or at least put things in a way that are not completely true to how I believe they are. That conflicts with my authenticity as well. One way I resolve this is by avoiding situations or people that call upon me to compromise the values that I hold most dear. I understand that for many people empathy is higher than honesty or authenticity so they might not even experience a conflict or understand what is so difficult for me. Anyway, my point is I do want to consciously cultivate more kindness in my interactions. And more humility as well to account for the fact that I might not have a clear view of things. I know that I appreciate kindness and humility in others so I am thinking about how to incorporate more of it into myself. I am not really sure how--without compromising authenticity--but it's something I want to work on this year. Maybe you will hear of my experiments! :)

I read a quote that people decide to do something to change themselves each year but maybe we should just decide to be ourselves. For me personally there has always been a relentless emphasis on being myself. It's change that I find very hard but I think I am not after change really as much as being a better version of who I am. I think I need to be more open to how I can be better without being too hard on myself because you can't change your fundamental wiring nor do I want to. It makes you who you are. I like it when people see the core of you and cherish that core rather than getting caught up in the maze. Though I guess they do need to have a basic affinity to that core to be able to even cut through the maze. The rest get lost in it.

In more practical news, I am home! :)