Typically when I feel that I have not performed at my best or failed at something, there is a temptation to wallow. I don’t usually blame myself because I trust that I want to do my best, even if it isn’t objectively the best. But I can’t help feeling sad and the mind always starts going over what I could have done differently. I wonder how it might be possible to simply hold things very lightly. If it wasn’t my best, maybe it was not meant to be. And if it was meant to be, my less-than-best will also be good enough. Ultimately there is something more to be learnt from these events when things don’t go as well as planned than when they did. Maybe the point of some of these events is not success or failure but enrichment of experience. No experience is a waste in that sense. It introduces you to something, teaches you something, shows you something, gives you something etc. I already know a few things this experience gave me… one must be happy and grateful for those things. Why want success at any rate or every time? When it is meant to be, it will be… at its own time, when the time is right. And if it doesn’t, then maybe that’s just as well too. As I think sometimes when I am trying to be grateful in spite of myself, at least half the world’s population isn’t as fortunate as I am. Back in India, I only had to look around me, to not need more evidence of the fact. Out here sometimes I miss those signals but they don’t need to stare me in the face for me to know that all said and done, there’s much to be grateful for.

I wish I could be more like Miranda in that British soap...here's the kind of things she gets up to… having fun even with goofing things up big time…!