I met a local interior designer lady a few weeks back. I liked the idea of working with someone to do up the house. I immediately warmed up to her. I don't know what it is but people tend to make three kinds of first impressions on me: instant dislike, neutral, instant like. She fell into the third. It might be the quiet calm tranquil soothing energy. An intelligent introverted vibe if you will. And strangely, I become more vibrant around this type...hehe... My energy shifts the more comfortable I feel, I think.

It didn't take much for me to pour out all my ideas, plans, possibilities, etc to her. She wasn't charging me a bomb for her services so that was another reason I immediately went all in... We started talking budgets for the work to be done and that's when she threw me off. It sounded mind-blowing because my actual needs were rather basic. She said she'd come back with a budget closer to my needs. We parted with her saying her best friend was Indian. I mean, if I wasn't already quite pleased with her, that would have warmed me more...!

I went into this preamble because without it, it would be hard to understand how I feel. She didn’t respond to my message enquiring what was going on, after I waited more than a week for her to come back. Not even to say she was busy and would respond at a later time. If she’d just said she couldn’t work with me for whatever reason, I’d still respect the honesty. For some reason, it felt personal. The logical side of me figured that my budget was too small for it to be worth her time. But there was another part of me that wondered how I could have got her so wrong...? I mean, an 'instant like' is not just about the calm vibe but also a vibe that signals a person of good values. Someone I could trust. To simply disappear on me isn't what that looks like to me.

I had actually given up on her by now and started looking into the designing myself. The nagging feeling stayed though. How could somebody I instantly like turn out so unprofessional, so without good work ethic? Today she messaged a very vague one about being very busy, and gave me some random cost calculations etc. Even if it had happened to fit into my scheme of things, I could never work with her anymore. I suppose... and maybe I have said it before... in spite of being a very logical person, the decisions I make are driven by my emotions. I no longer feel the same.