We all feel like the main character in our own lives, I am sure. Like the world revolves around us, rises and sets with us. Like everybody else is playing some sort of part in our movie life, a supporting character, a deep interest, good friend, a sidekick, a colleague, a mentor, a respected elder, a villain, so on. They all exist in reference to you in some way—though obviously in their own lives you might be one of these other major or minor characters. If you think about movies, there are many kinds of main characters or protagonists or heroes… have you ever wondered what type you are?

This question popped in my head as I was pushing the shopping cart around in my local Aldi. I suppose that itself is an indication of what type of protagonist I am ;) I came to the conclusion that I must be a cross between one of those very awkward and clumsy types you come across in British sitcoms mostly and an obsessed scientist type who is so busy in their mental world that they have forgotten to have lunch.

I have two very recent examples of my highly awkward/clumsy wish-the-earth-would-swallow-me moments :( I was looking for the washroom at this conference venue, and this lady said she was also looking for it. We came to a door of what looked like a single washroom unit to me for some reason, and she went in. I looked around to see if there was another one and there wasn't. So I waited outside the door. She comes out and it turns out there were many units in there—it wasn't a single one. She was mortified I was waiting and I was deeply embarrassed that I didn’t just walk in. Though later I did wonder why she let me stay outside when she knew I was going to the washroom too? The second example is from the same conference. There was a buffet type arrangement for lunch, but it was not self-service. They were probably serving measured portions that way. While I was finishing lunch, I noticed people had moved to dessert. When I was done and my fellow colleague was almost done too, I went to the buffet counter and looked for dessert for myself and the colleague. The server there asked what I was looking for and when I said dessert, she said she’ll go get it. I found it odd that I was the only person hanging around the counter for dessert. Another buffet server asked me what I was waiting for and I said somebody's gone to get dessert. They didn’t say anything to that. Finally, the first server came back with two dessert cups. I took them and started walking towards my seat. Imagine my surprise when I noticed there were dessert cups placed right in the middle of the room with the tea and all that. People were just taking them directly. I realised the serving folks must have thought I wanted a vegan variety of it or something of that sort!

It feels to me as if this sort of stuff happens to me a lot where it appears as if everyone else has a script for how to go about the real world whereas I haven’t been handed one. So I continuously hit glitch upon glitch! There are enough movies or shows with main characters like me though…heheh! so I sometimes wonder if I should learn to fully embrace my persona? Instead of treating my actions as glitches, see them as part of my programming because the very thing that is causing all these glitches in the real world, is also creating a lot of fertile material in my mental world… I couldn’t have had one without the other.