My saga of things going wrong one after another continues. My phone cover for example suddenly seemed to want to shed my phone. Not a big deal. But when I tried putting on a new cover, I realised it wasn't the cover... it was my phone :( It looks like the battery has started swelling up. I have been back and forth with a repair shop and yet to get it properly fixed. My phone, as perhaps anyone's in today times, is just too precious for me. I can't even begin to tell half the things I use my phone for and therefore detest the very idea of it dying or having to get a new one. The possibility of anything going wrong close to when I have a whole oceanload of travel to do for months is enough to trigger my famous anxiety... Well, let's see what happens. Every time I visit the repair shop, I feel like I am going to the dentist. When they say they still haven't got hold of the new battery, it's a bit like the dentist postponing an appointment. Happy for the moment but annoyed it's not over yet.

This episode with the phone and some other products/services which could potentially require me to come up with unexpected amounts of cash led me to realise something profound about how very differently life might be experienced by those who can spontaneously come up with extra money vs. those who can't. Growing up I remember many occasions when every time money was needed for some unanticipated thing or for some exigency or urgency or to fix something, it used to be a mini catastrophe. It made life feel inherently very difficult, even as a child, as if at every turn we might be ambushed by something out of our control. One got used to treading very carefully, though it had nothing to do with our tread. We did not know what could be the next thing that would pull the rug from under our feet.

I suppose I have finally been experiencing what it's like when you do not need to worry too much about any situation that can be solved with money. Phone broke? No problem. Fix it or change it. A certain problem can be solved quicker by paying xyz extra? No problem, let's get it quick. Need this and that to save energy and time for other things? Get them, no second thoughts. You see how different life can feel?! In my case it's an odd feeling because I am not used to feeling this 'easiness', for want of a better word. I almost find it suspicious. It must be harder than this surely? Am I missing something, is it just around the corner? And then I think, is this how a lot of people (of course not the majority) experience life from the day they are born? This easy movement? This plain sailing? Unlike me, they do not find anything strange or suspicious about it. It's just how it's supposed to be for them... Interesting lines of thought that I might come back to later!