'I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.'

~ Mark Twain

For all intents and purposes, I went to school and college, but I don't think that's where I got an education in any real sense of the term. I am lucky to have discovered my school library when I was a kid and after that everything I learnt was in communion with books (ancient and/or dead people?). My learning happened on the side, frowned upon in many ways, as if there must be something wrong if I was enjoying myself so much, but I kept at it. I think it was this voracious reading habit of mine that made me an outsider within. It seems quite unsurprising now. We were all growing up in the same place [in Mumbai] but I was growing on something different... no wonder I found little in common with those around me.

The first thing I did when I got into college was find the library. I was sure here too I would have to find a way to do well enough on my exams (we only had 'exams' then and am not sure if things have changed now) while doing what I loved doing with most of my time, i.e., read. In that sense nothing much changed so far as my relationship with formal education was concerned. I saw it as something one must do to get a formal degree because everyone had to get one to get a job eventually. I saw my love of books, learning, thinking, questioning, arguing points of view, etc. as entirely separate from what formal education was about. The former was disruptive and the latter seemed to force me to conform.

It was quite refreshing when I got introduced to the Western education approach. Everything that I was doing on the side or covertly seemed to be highly valued. I didn’t have to hide my loves ;) I was supposed to read, think, form my ideas, argue, question, reflect, not accept authority, write my own thoughts... I couldn't quite wrap my head around the fact that I was finally going to do what I loved doing, in the main and not on the side. Freely and not apologetically. I did not have to stifle the best parts of me.

I tend to sometimes try to recollect how I was as a student or how I perceived my teachers as a student to help me understand my students' psyche better. But given my own complicated relationship with the schooling system of that time and how my learning was in resistance rather than a product of that system... I hit a complete blank. I don't have a template to go back to, so to speak...